When I first read "Don't Let Me Be Lonely", it made me really depressed and I couldn't read the whole thing in one sitting. After reading the book and still having this opinion, we discussed alot of the book in class and I actually started to change my mind and unerstand a little bit more. I mean it is still a depressing book but the things she was writing down are not as much depressing anymore, they are more like blunt truthful words. Everyone will die someday, somehow, and some way. I feel like the meaning behind "Don't Let Me Be Lonely" is more than one thing in particular, it has a series of meanings. As a person who lost a person "don't let me be lonely" may mean don't leave me here all alone, as in someone you love has died and left you behind on earth. Don't let me be lonely may also mean don't let me die alone, possibly meaning someone who hasn't found love yet. Don't let me be lonely could be the person who has died and passed over into a different place telling their loved one to not let them be lonely. There are so many possible meanings behind this one phrase.

Pg. 62:
Define lonliness?
Yes.
It's what we can do for eachother.
What can we do for eachother?
What does a life mean?
Why are we here if not for eachother?

This is the one passage that stuck out in the book and kind of related to me in a sense.
I am very trustworthy, but don't give out trust myself. It is very hard for me to trust people right away. And my brother is always tellling me that if you recieve but cannot give what does your life mean? You will be lonely if you don't begin to trust. That is word the word lonliness means. Empty. Lost. No trust. Alone. Lonely.

I find the packet we are currently reading interesting in some parts, but really dull in others. Some of them I honestly just cant get into. The list of things to do one was pretty funny. That one was probably my favorite out of all of them so far. Besides the fact that it was completely impossible to do most, let alone all of the things on the list in one day, there were alot of things that were really genuine and well thought-out. I liked the reading we discussed last week "Sunday" it reminded me alot of being home in the south and the cooking that goes on down there and the sort of family spirit I feel like I'm missing being away from home for so long.

Sitting in the student center auditorium I kept wondering what this whole bathhouse thing was going to be like. At first I thought that it was just going to be Gail Scott reading her own poetry but in a poem sort of form. But thats not how it was at all. Her first reading was by far my favorite. The vivid descriptions of the people in this cafe she spoke of were so unique yet so bland, I could almost picture the cafe in an entire form. She spoke about the cafe as if it were not a cafe at alll but almost as if she made it up on her own. I liked most how she compared things that were alike but not alike at all. Such as comparing ordering to sex. I did not really like the way she read exactly, I felt like she wasn't really into the reading at all, I felt like it was more of a forced reading. But all in all I really liked the descriptions and the way she put everything in context. It was really easy for me to picture exactly what she was talking about.

Goldberg readings.

I actually like syntax. When I first began to read it, I thought it was going to be boring, but then more I read it the more I liked it. It is all about not making much sense and holding back the urge to make sense in some writing situations. Sometimes when you are stressed and don't know where to start in writing, I would try this exercise that Syntax suggests. Taking a few sentences and just mixing the words up to where they dont make sense, in a way it might actually spark something.
I have read Dont Tell, But Show several times, and this is my absolute favorite reading. It brings me back to my childhood and growing up. My father always told me "dont tell me, show me" and therefore I always grew up believing that if you wanted something instead of telling people you showed them. This is definitely one of my personal favorites. I also just like the way that it is organized as well as written. It has alot of meaning in it which is basically the point but it almost speaks to you, rather than you reading it.
Be specific, I believe would be something good to revert back to when you are having trouble elaborating in a writing and/or poem. Thinking is not just as simple as thinking, and writing is not just writing. When you think and write, it should be broad and specific. This reading goes hand in hand with imagery. If you only say, "that tree in the yard looks nice", it does not speak to the reader or get intact with the readers mind. Whereas if you would write, "the maple oaks lined the yard like football players in a scrimmage", not a great example but it is more elaborative.

what is a word worth?
spontaneous

My father is a very spontaneous person. I guess that's where I get it from. Once I make my mind up about something there is no going back. I am very independent and I have always been that way even when I was a child. At first I come off as shy and quiet. But in reality I'm the complete opposite. One minute I could be sitting on the couch eating pizza with my sister. Ten minutes later we could be on our way to Oklahoma o a 4 hour trip just to go camping for the weekend. I never plan things out which is not always a good thing. But I think it makes life more interesting if you don't know what to expect. If you aways knew what was going to happen you would never be surprised about anything. I talk way to much, and if I have an opinion on something; your going to know about it. I speak my mind whether it hurts peoples feeling's or not. I don't set out to hurt peoples feelings, but I have grown up to think that you shouldn't lie to people just to make them feel better. If I was always lied to when I wanted to hear what I wanted to hear and nothing else, then I wouldn't be the strong person I am today. When I hear the words spontaneous, hyper, and out-of-control; I instantly think of myself. But the way I see it is all of these words sum up to something bigger than just words themselves. Being so spontaneous has helped me so far in my 18 years of life I believe. I honestly don't think there is ever a dull moment with me, no one can quite put their finger on me or my personality, and I'm about as short-noticed as a snow day in Texas. I feel as though these characteristics sum up many words; stubborn, strong-willed, risky, sometimes stupid, but one word sticks with me and I feel as though it always has and always will. Spontaneous.

first blog!

So, today is sunday. And I have a mountain and a half of homework to do. But, I have gotten about half of it done so thats a plus. I'm going to go eat lunch with my roommate in a little while and I will definitely be watching the cowboys at 8 tonight.:)